


Keep A Place For Me

by thesoundofnat



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Kissing, Leia knows everything, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 09:56:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13715250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: It was silly. He knew that. Just because they would be forced into some sort of intimacy it didn’t mean that it meant more than that, and he could surely pretend to be casual for the remaining time they would spend here.Right?(Or, Poe and Finn are forced to share a bed, and Poe finds it increasingly hard to be chill about it.)





	Keep A Place For Me

Poe should’ve expected this to happen at one point or another. Even though their crew was smaller than it had ever been, they eventually found themselves on a ship so small that barely half of them fit, and Poe was suddenly faced with two options. Be selfish and get a room for himself, or be generous and share it with someone. It really wasn’t a choice, in the end.

The process of picking a roommate wasn’t really a choice either. “We’ll be sharing a room,” he told Finn, who only nodded, and that was that.

But it wasn’t really that, for Poe’s heart had been freaking out ever since.

It was silly. He knew that. Just because they would be forced into some sort of intimacy it didn’t mean that it meant more than that, and he could surely pretend to be casual for the remaining time they would spend here.

Right?

“How long do you think we’ll be using this ship?” he asked Leia, careful to have pulled her aside first. He didn’t want anyone else to know how uneasy this whole situation was making him, whether they would understand why or not. They’d lost enough as it was, and him showing anything but vigor would be bad.

Leia caught his gaze, and Poe could tell she was thinking. “I’m not sure. Finding another ship seems pretty unlikely.”

Poe nodded, not sure how he felt about it. “We’ll make the best of it.”

The corners of Leia’s lips twitched upward. “You seem a bit worried.”

“It’s just been a stressful time. Barely being able to be on your own might lead to tension.”

“That’s true,” Leia admitted. “But everyone knows what’s at stake. If issues start appearing I’m sure they can figure it out.”

“You’re right.”

“Poe?”

“Yes?”

“I wouldn’t worry about Finn. The two of you have a way of communicating without really saying much. I’m sure it will be fine.”

Poe nodded, red-faced for no reason, and left.

He avoided going to their room that night, but knew once everyone else had finished up their daily duties and gone to bed that he couldn’t postpone it any longer. Not sure if he wanted Finn to already be asleep or not, Poe entered their minimal bedroom.

Finn was sitting on the bed, looking almost small even though the size of the room technically made him look bigger. He seemed lost.

Poe’s heart shattered a little bit. “You okay?”

Finn flew off the bed. “There you are! I didn’t know how you want to do this, so I waited up.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Poe replied, closing the door behind him. “But seriously, are you okay?”

Finn shrugged. “Things just get overwhelming at night time. It’s nothing.”

“Too much time to think, huh?”

“Exactly.”

Poe could relate, though he reckoned Finn and his demons had it worse than him and his ghosts. Ghosts were transparent. Demons were solid.

Poe looked at the bed. It wasn’t a single bed, thank Nova, but he would be a fool to think they wouldn’t somehow be touching while sharing it. Finn seemed calm about it all, so he tried to imitate his cool.

“What side do you want?”

“Either one is fine.”

“Are you the type to get up often in the middle of the night? Bathroom breaks and whatnot?”

“No. Or, well, I don’t know. The Order wouldn’t let us.”

Poe bit the inside of his cheek. “It’s settled then. I can sleep closest to the wall.” He didn’t add so that Finn could finally have the freedom of movement, but he reckoned they both knew he meant it.

Poe was the type to barely move once he fell into a deep sleep, so he wasn’t worried about being trapped between Finn and the wall, but he encountered a small problem as they settled down on the mattress. He couldn’t fall asleep. Like, at all.

As Finn’s breathing evened out, became heavier and steadier and more relaxed, Poe felt as if he was suffocating. Suddenly the sheets felt uncomfortable against his skin, the covers too warm, the wall too cold, Finn too present. His heart too confused. Mind too loud. Everything too much.

And he couldn’t leave. Couldn’t just roll out of bed and take a walk, because if he did he would either wake Finn up or wake someone else up, as the ship was that small. He was trapped.

So he lied there, as still as he could, until sleep finally found him. It wasn’t a peaceful slumber.

* * *

 

The second night was no better. In fact, the second was  _worse_.

It seemed as if Poe, who had spent the past few days in a distracted haze that made the world blurrier, had finally realized that he’d shared a bed with  _Finn_ , and now he couldn’t stop thinking about it. What had been a confused and hyperaware first night had turned into a nerve racking and even more hyperaware second night, though this time Poe was aware of different things.

He was aware of Finn’s body touching his as his friend relaxed more and more and didn’t have the energy to keep entirely to himself. He was aware of how easy it would be to scoot a couple of inches closer and let them merge into one. How easy it would be to reach out and touch and blame the darkness. He was aware of how much Finn must have trusted him to agree to be this vulnerable around him.

But mostly he was aware of his own heart which would. not. slow. down. As Finn all but melted into the mattress, Poe nearly turned into stone - a rigid mess of jitters and blood pumping so much more noisily in his veins. He could barely hear Finn breathing from how loud his body was being. He was almost afraid of waking his friend up.

Saying that he didn’t get much sleep that night either would be an understatement.

* * *

 

“You look exhausted.” Leia didn’t beat around the bush when she approached the table where he was taking his first meal of the day.

“I  _am_ exhausted,” he replied, seeing no need to lie when the truth was so very visible on his own face. “I’m having trouble sleeping.”

Leia sat down beside him. “How come?”

“Do you want some sort of improvised lie or the embarrassing truth?”

“As tempted as I am to hear this improvised lie I would prefer honesty.”

Poe bit his lip. “It’s because of Finn.”

“I see.”

“Not that he’s being particularly annoying to share a bed with or anything. In fact, he passes out almost immediately.”

“But you don’t.”

“I don’t.”

“Because of his presence.” It wasn’t a question.

Poe stared at his breakfast, willing himself to not blush. “Yes.”

“I feel like this won’t get better unless you talk to him about it.”

“Oh, no. No way.”

“Poe.”

“I can’t. Not now. Not because of  _this_.”

“Then when?”

“Just… not now.”

Leia gave him that look that made him want to run away and hide, but she relented and changed the subject. Poe had a feeling this wouldn’t be the last time they had this conversation, however.

The third night was pretty much the same as the second, only this time it took longer for Finn to fall asleep, and thus Poe was paranoid that he would hear his frantic heart. Instead, Finn pointed out his lack of sleep.

“I have a feeling you haven’t been sleeping much. You seem exhausted.”

“Leia said that too. Is it that obvious?”

“If I’m the reason I can switch rooms immediately.”

“Oh, no, no, you’re not,” Poe assured him, rolling over on the bed to face him. “I just get into these periods sometimes. It’ll pass.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

“Okay.”

Poe could see Finn’s frown in the dark, but he didn’t know what to do to smooth it out until his friend was completely relaxed again, so he just rolled over onto his back again and stared at the ceiling. The longer he stared the more things he saw that weren’t there, and in the end he had to close his eyes and will the shapes away, but all he could think about was them.

Only because he wasn’t allowing himself to think of Finn’s bare arm pressing against his own.

Maybe he needed better coping mechanisms.

“So why aren’t you sleeping tonight?” Poe asked after fifteen minutes of a loaded silence that made it obvious neither of them was any close to drifting off.

“I don’t know.”

“Is anything bothering you?”

“No, it’s just-” Finn cut himself off, and Poe could feel him rolling over in the dark. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Have I?”

“Ever since we started sharing a room, yes.”

“I haven’t meant to.” He really hadn’t. If he’d been doing it it had been inadvertently.

“I was just wondering where we stand.”

Oh shit.

“You’re my friend,” Poe said without preamble. “That hasn’t changed, and I’m sorry if I’ve been acting strangely. It’s just been a very strange couple of weeks.”

“Please don’t avoid me, Poe. I don’t know if I could handle that.”

“Hey.” Poe rolled over onto his side and reached out blindly to touch Finn’s arm. “I won’t, okay? I have this thing where I isolate myself when I’m stressed, but it’s never anything personal. But now that you’ve pointed it out I’ll try to stop.”

“You always ask me if something’s bothering me. Asking me to talk. Do you need to talk?” His breath hit Poe straight in the face.

Poe licked his lips. “Maybe. Not now. I don’t have my thoughts in order to be able to say anything coherent anyway.”

He felt Finn nod eagerly. “That makes sense. But once you’re ready I’m here, okay?”

“Okay.”

They rolled over again, their arms touching, eyes still struggling to see something in the dark. Poe felt lighter.

“Hey, Finn?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“Of course.”

“I appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it, Poe.”

It still took Poe forever to fall asleep, but once he did he slept soundly through the entire night.

* * *

 

“I’m finding it increasingly hard to keep my feelings to myself, it seems.”

“Is that so?”

“Well, at least my subconscious is making bad decisions without my permission.”

Leia was visibly amused. “Do tell.”

“Apparently I’ve been avoiding Finn without even realizing it, and Finn’s been walking around this entire time wondering what’s changed.”

“Uh oh.”

“I told him I isolate myself when I’m stressed, which isn’t a lie, but I’m now terrified of him realizing I’ve only isolated myself from him because he’s the reason of my perpetual freakout.” He honestly saw no point in not being upright with Leia anymore. She seemed to know everything anyway.

“I stand by my initial piece of advice.”

“Which was?”

“Talk to him.”

“I  _can’t_.”

“And thus you are destined to forever be freaking out.”

Poe pointed at her. “You need to stop being so logical.”

“One of us has to be.”

So maybe they’d just narrowly missed colliding with the First Order and were riding on a high that only a near death experience left. Poe found that it always made him feel bolder, which thankfully Leia didn’t mind.

“One of us has to be what?” Finn asked, suddenly appearing seemingly out of thin air and sitting down beside Poe.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. I’m glad you’re okay, buddy.”

Finn grinned. “It takes more than that to wipe me off the map.”

“I bet. You’d be a fool to think I won’t be worrying the entire time though.” Maybe speaking to Finn while on this high was a bad idea, but Poe didn’t find it in him to leave.

“I worry about you, too, but I never once doubted you’d fly us out of there.”

“Trust is important,” Leia said, reminding them both of her presence. “It might be the most important quality in a team.”

“We’re a good team,” Finn said with a grin. “Don’t you think?”

“The two of you? The best team.”

Poe hated how easily he blushed around those two - being around them at the same time was like a death wish. “I think he meant all of us, General.”

“I think I meant both,” Finn said, and something about him seemed different. He almost seemed shy.

“Well,” Leia started, standing up. “Both statements are true. If you’ll excuse me.”

She didn’t offer any explanation as to where she was suddenly off to, and neither of them asked. Instead, Poe turned his body to fully face Finn, hoping to Nova that his flush had calmed down. “So.”

“So.”

“You all right? I mean, I know it all got pretty hectic all of a sudden.”

“I’m fine. Glad we got rid of them. You?”

“I’m good.”

“Good.”

“Is it?”

“Of course, Poe.”

Poe obviously couldn’t do small talk. At. All.

He ran a hand through his hair. “Let’s go get dinner. Those bastards made us miss lunch.”

Finn laughed and followed. It actually felt great to have him around. Maybe he needed to rethink this coping mechanism of his.

* * *

 

“Poe?”

“Yeah?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Neither can I.”

They sat up, Poe barely able to see the outline of his friend beside him. He’d always found a comfort in the dark, but he wished he could see Finn’s expression.

“You okay?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“Oh, Finn.”

“Don’t pity me.”

“I don’t. I just wish I could help.” A beat, and, “Can I help?”

“I don’t know how.”

“Do you want to talk?”

“I don’t think that would help.”

Leia had said that they could communicate without words, but he couldn’t see how that would make this easier. What does one do when words aren’t enough?

“What are you doing?”

“Just trust me.”

Finn allowed himself to be pulled into Poe’s arms, and for a few seconds he just sat there and let Poe hold him. And then he was hugging him back, clinging to him tightly as if his life depended on it. And maybe it did, in a way. He’d once confided in Poe that he hadn’t gotten an ounce of physical affection in his life, and ever since then Poe had tried to explain to him that it was okay if he wanted to touch him or vice versa. It was only now that he realized that Finn needed to actually be  _shown_ that it was okay.

They stayed like that for several minutes, not a single inch of space between their chests. Poe could feel Finn’s heart, could feel his breathing. Could feel him relax more and more in his arms until Poe was practically holding him up.

He let out a shaky breath. “Thank you.”

Poe’s heart ached from how small his voice had sounded. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s everything.”

“ _You’re_ everything.”

In any other setting Poe would never had said that out loud, but he couldn’t lie. Not right now.

Finn pulled away. “If you only knew how wrong you are.”

“Stop it.”

“You’re everything, Poe.  _You_.” And he kissed him. Leaned in easily for his second kiss ever and let his lips collide with Poe’s. Poe only hesitated for a second before kissing him back hungrily.

Now he really wished he could see him, but it was as if his hands tried their best to compensate the lack of light. Cupping Finn’s face, feeling his jaw and neck. Journeying down to trace his arms, back. And in turn, Finn was imitating him. Poe could barely pull him close enough.

“Wow,” Finn breathed out once they finally parted for air. “I’m not gonna lie. I’ve been wanting to do that since before Rose kissed me, but I just wasn’t aware that that was what I wanted.”

Poe laughed, high on so many emotions. “Me too. Since before Rose kissed you.”

“Maybe we need to learn how to communicate better,” Finn said with a grin.

“That could be useful.” Poe leaned in again, kissing him tenderly this time. “We should sleep,” he mumbled into Finn’s lips.

Finn hummed. “In a bit.”

Poe refused to ever sleep alone again after that, and fortunately no one forced him to.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://thesoundofnat.tumblr.com/)


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